Step in a puddle and get wet

I love watching my youngest boy just act like a little boy.  Something about puddles of water that makes him want to take a running leap right into the middle as an explosion of liquid slush goes flying everywhere.  The joy on his face as he raises his hands in the air and grunting as if he has just conquered a major battle is unmatched by any other entertainment venue.  Years ago when I was a young mom raising my two oldest boys I don't think I appreciated the same bursts of excuberance as I do now.   I think I was too overwhelmed with motherhood, working to support my family and just plain ol' life that I didn't really take the time to enjoy the simplicity of their childhoods.  Oh how I wish I could go back (sometimes, I'm not in total denial.)  Now that they are grown I often wonder if I could have done more.  My circumstances had limited me and I often felt guilty that I couldn't do more or be more for them.  Then a week like this one happens.  You know the kind I'm talking about, where you are so overworked, overwhelmed and exhausted that if feels like it will never end.   Right in the middle of it you realize you missed a call from your oldest son.  You listen to the voice mail and it says "Hi mom, just wanted to tell you I love you....thats it......I really just love you."   After you pick yourself up off of the floor, tears well up in your eyes...."how sweet"....but then your Mom fears kick in and you begin to think...."whats the matter...oh my gosh....hes in trouble....hes in jail..."   I called my oldest son and it turns out one of his friends mother had just passed away.  Something about death that makes a person confront their own lives.   I was thankful for the call none the less.   I must have done something right,  he thought about me and wanted to make sure I knew he loved me.   I don't take that for granted now.  I don't take for granted splashes in the mud puddles.  In fact, when no one is looking....I take a leap or two myself.   

Wondering

In the hours of the night
Wondering mind, wondering light
Seeking to find some solice of thought
Wondering how, wondering naught
Lying awake in wait of the dew
Wondering when, wondering new
Hoping for visions from the divine
Wondering what, wondering sign
Setting aside personal strife
Wondering who, wondering life

The Infinite Mind

I recently had a conversation on Facebook regarding the inerracy and infallibility of the Bible with a non-believer. Well, it actually turned into an apologetics discussion. I realized that I have a true passion for apologetics and dare I say a "gift" in defending the truth. Its a little scary to say that you are gifted in an area. It may sound egotistical and turn others away. But I have been praying for years for God to reveal to me what He would have me do in His ministry on this earth. When I was younger, people used to tell me that I should grow up to be an attorney because I liked to argue. While I think those individuals were trying to be complimentary, I often felt offended and even belittled. I suppose I felt that my identity was being criticized. I then developed a life long sensitivity to criticism, always feeling the need to defend myself. In reality, I think that God has been working in my life to refine and develop a desire for truth. For the last forty years He has placed me in situtions and circumstances that have developed my character and constitution for His Word. Twenty years ago I came to the end of myself in a very difficult situation. I had no other option but to trust God and from that time forward I feel that I have been in school, learning and growing to develop a love for the Word of God and the defense of its validity. This may not sound like a grand revelation, but this week I was informed that my job situation would change. Once again I have found myself at the mercy of others feeling vulnerable and criticized. At the same time, I recognize that God is up to something in my life and perhaps He has begun to reveal a different plan and direction for my life. I don't have any specifics and there is still that small feeling of fear for the unknown. But if I have learned nothing else it is that God will take care of me and His ways are good. This morning I woke up in the wee hours with the word transcendentalism incessantly running through my mind. Why in creation I would be thinking about a god-less ideology is anyones guess. What came out of that is the following thought process. I don't really know why, but I decided it was worth posting. May it give some insight to someone and perhaps bring a blessing.

If a person states that they have the capability of an infinite mind, then it seems to me that they are contradicting themselves by virtue of the definition. If we say that we have ability to grow into an infinite mind (or become a god or be like god) then the question is what does infinite wisdom mean? We usually reference the attribute of infinite wisdom to God and refer to humans as finite. In many belief systems the ideology of becoming infinite is an attractive alternative to believing in a higher power or a God. Within these belief systems is the idea that anyone can essentially develop the capability for infinite wisdom through human effort. God is simply a concept and not an entity. By this statement they are saying that humans possess the ability for full capacity of wisdom (which in turn assumes that humans are not actually finite, but possess the attributes of being infinite.) I find the notion to be a contradiction in terms. To have the capacity of infinite wisdom essentially means that you already possess the full capability of infinite wisdom. Therefore, to say that one can grow into infinite wisdom would be by definition a contradiction of the statement. How does one grow into something that they already possess? If you already posses full capability and capacity then there is nothing that hinders you from already possessing infinite wisdom. To claim that a finite mind can become infinite would require a total change in the physical attributes of the finite because what is infinite cannot be confined to the finite. Christians accept that humans are finite, or limited in capacity and capability. We see ourselves as the finite creation of an infinite creator. We see God as infinite and thus containing full capacity and capability for all wisdom and knowledge. The infinite wisdom is not constrained with boundaries. It also cannot be corruptible because then it would not be infinitely wise. To be infinite in wisdom implies infinite in purity which means that to maintain its integrity and consistency of character it cannot and would not be associated with the corruptible. To lack full wisdom means that humans are susceptible to impurity (and susceptibility to impurity or depravity means they are actually hindered from full wisdom.) So the conclusion is that the incorruptible (God) cannot be associated with the corruptible (man.) There must be an answer to this. God provided the answer. That answer is that in order for the incorruptible to associate with the corruptible there must be something that, for lack of a better word, hides or cleans the corruptible so that it can be in the presence of the incorruptible. How do the corruptible become clean? The disease that infects it must be eradicated. This is done through a process of purification. The question is can the incorruptible clean itself, or does it need assistance from the incorruptible? When we have a bacteria infection we go to the doctor and he prescribes an antibiotic to kill the disease and free us from the infection. When the infection is killed, we are restored to the original state. The same is true for the infection of our soul which is sin. We need a spiritual antibiotic to clean the infection. Jesus Christ became our antibiotic. He took our sin and cleansed it with his incorruptible nature, washing away the disease. God did this by taking is infinite nature and power and consciously confining it to the boundaries of a human body. The nature of sickness demands a cure. The cure for sin (which entered the world through the corruptible man Adam) is remedied through the incorruptible man Jesus. Though he knew no sin, he chooses to endure the cross for our sake. He shed his blood as a sacrificial offering on our behalf. He gave up his rights so that we would have the right to commune with a Holy Incorruptible God. He didn’t ask us to make a co-payment, but rather, as the great physician, He simply asked us to accept the medication. When we accept this cleansing we then have access to the incorruptible wisdom of the Almighty God. Since our sins are corruptible by nature it is imperative they are covered (hidden) through the medication of Jesus. The sacrificial shedding of his blood becomes a covering or cleansing to of our illness of sin. When Jesus inhabits or lives this "covering" shields us from the wrath of God. Without it, we cannot be in the presence of the incorruptible God. Therefore, through Jesus Christs payment we are covered under his insurance policy and able to freely come into the presence of infinite wisdom. Without this remedy we are left on our own to contend with our sickness (which leads to our ultimate demise.) Instead we become the possession of the incorruptible by virtue of the payment that Jesus made on our behalf. Thus we have been bought with a price and no longer are we a slave to the corruptible, but we have full rights to the incorruptible nature of the Almighty God. This protection gives us the hope of the future eternal blessings of communion with God and a share in his riches in glory. The converse is an eternity of unending isolation and sickness contending with the realization of the eternity that we lost due to the deception of our own efforts and corruption.

Ugggghhhhhhh .....darn that goal

Here it is.....*big sigh*.....day 74...........the BIG goal...no news to report sadly. I was very motivated and excited the first 40 days. I must admit that I veered off the road of focus a few times since then. Life always seems to happen in the middle of great pursuits. Day 74 finds me back at day 1 and the point of frustration that precludes setting a big goal. But, I am happy to report that I will not be dismayed. Back on the road again, trudging along. Many people have been asking me about this elusive goal. Why am I so secretive you may ask? Trust! I simply do not trust myself and quite frankly I fear that if I confess my goal then I may have to admit that I didn't stay focused to the end. Actually, this really isn't about confessing to anyone or attempting to attain success for the world to dole out adulations for my endeavour. I really want to achieve this goal for some deep personal reasons. I am picking myself up off the ground and getting back to work. I've decided to add more prayer this time. I think that may improve my results.

The Goal

Forty days ago I woke up and decided to start working on a goal. Most days I have stuck to my plan but I have to confess that other days have been quite difficult to stay on track. But I am determined to meet the goal. During the last forty days I have also discovered that God is working on me in a new way. I am seeing life in a different perspective. I can't really explain the change because I don't really understand how to describe it. The world around me seems a little brighter and I have a clarity that I've never known before. Each day I seem to have experienced this overwhelming gratitude for my life. For some odd reason my eyes have been opened to the blessings that surround me and it takes my breath away. Its absolutely awesome. I'm trusting God like I've never trusted Him before. I'm seeing His work in my life and sitting back expecting great things. Its very cool!

Life

A lot has been happening around me lately that is challenging the way I think about my life. I recently found out that a high school classmate lost her battle with breast cancer. I didn't know her, but several comments left on the posting make it clear that she had an affect on other people during her brief time on this earth. Then I randomly clicked on a link in facebook to discover another young women is battling cancer. I don't know her directly but her father in law used to be my pastor. I read some of her blog and it is apparent that she is confidently trusting God in the situation. Moments like this grab my attention. I think "what if?" I could wake up one day and have an illness that could completely change everything. I am confronted with self evaluation and wonder how I might handle a similiar prognosis. The older I get the more I am becoming aware of my own mortality. Anything could happen at any given time. I suppose that I am comforted by the fact that I have assurance of where I'm going. Nevertheless, sometimes I get lost in the "what if that was me" question. I have discovered that I like to have answers, but the reality is that not everything in life has an answer. Some things are meant to be a mystery. I find myself welling up with tears for the families that lose their loved ones so early. At least in my mind when someone dies without living a long life it seems so sad. Maybe my viewpoint is all wrong. I have heard it said that if we truly understood heaven, then people would be jumping off buildings to get there. I don't know about that. I also read someones quote (sorry, can't remember who) that said "if you are still alive then you know that God isn't done with you yet." So I suppose that life can be a mystery. Live each day, be your best, God will take care of the rest.

Simplifying Isn't Necessarily Simple

I have come to the conclusion that it is time to simplify my life. The last few years have been so overwhelming that I am ready to scale back and slow down. I feel caught in a never ending battle with the mountains of laundry and dishes, I'm consistently nagged by the growing stack of paper and bills at the end of my kitchen counter (I hate filing) and at every corner of our house there is a project waiting to be finished or begging us to begin. Its enough to make a sane person nuts. At the end of the day I am left feeling completely exhausted with little energy to do anything for myself. I have finally surrendered to the thought that something has to give. So, this overworked and stressed out Mom Googled "simple life." Now in this world of sustainability sages and green gurus you would think that there would be at least one simplicity website that is actually simple. If they are out there, then the Google guys have not found them. It seems to me that if a person is looking to simplify their life then the last thing they want to do is read long, drawn out articles on the simple life in order to find some nuggets of practical advice. Most of the sites I found were full of words. In fact, I was overwhelmed the minute the sites appeared onto the screen. Shouldn't a website on simplicity be....I don't know...SIMPLE? I suppose that it really is not a difficult concept. Simple means simple. I have to evaluate what is really important to me and eliminate anything that isn't. For example, I love my home, but it is a lot of work. I don't plan on moving anytime soon, but I have decided that we have way to much stuff. My first step in simplifying is to begin spending the next month cleaning out my home. This isn't rock science and I periodically do this anyways. But this time I want to include simple ways to keep things less cluttered....I need to create some new habits that will help me avoid non-stop cleaning. I need time back for myself and I'm the only one that can make that happen since I am the only neat freak in my household. During my simple search I did find one idea that I want to try. I found an article that talked about taking a home vacation. The idea was to think about what you like about going away on vacation. Do you like the hotel room, the destination or being pampered? Take those ideas and think about how you can incorporate them into your daily life. Set a date that you want to begin your vacation and then look for ways to make it happen. If the difficulty is that your home is the last place you think of when you say vacation, then begin with making your home less distracting. For example, if the paperwork bothers you, then work to eliminate the paperwork before the date you have set for your home vacation. The goal is to try and reduce or eliminate distraction. Next step is to unplug; no cell phones, laptops, t.v.'s, etc. I think that is self explanatory so I won't elaborate. If the bills really get you distracted then go to your post office and stop your mail for two weeks as if you are actually going out of town. Be sure to pay all your bills before your vacation so that you don't need to worry about your mail or getting online. Write yourself a note if you need to so you can see that each bill has been paid and you don't need to stress. Lastly, the article says to be your own concierge. The author had some ideas on this one, but my interpretation is a little different. Since I like the whole hotel experience I would stock my bathroom with spa items like big fluffy towels. I have collected a ton of hotel soaps and shampoos from past trips, so I would put my regular stuff away and set out the mini bottles each day. That way I will actually use up all those mini bottles collecting dust and I can begin collecting again. Of course my bathroom would get a good cleaning before my planned vacation. Since vacation to me also includes stress free meals I would plan several meals out at my favorite restaurants (after all, I'm not paying for a hotel or rental car.) For the rest of the time I would cook and freeze at least two weeks worth of meals and buy several items for a daily "complimentary" continental breakfast. I may even buy some mini chocolate mints for my pillow. During the day it will be business as usual, but I will plan my weekends during my "vacation" period to be peaceful and full of leisurely activities (or no activities at all.) At least two of the weekends during my vacation I will plan for babysitters. Activities will include several outings to local attractions. In Houston we are fortunate to have a plethora of choices. So, I really like the home vacation idea. It incorporates fun into life but also keeps the budget in check and doesn't severely interrupt daily life. I think the ultimate goal is that in planning a home vacation, you may also find ideas that help you make every day life simply. It may sound goofy and definitely not a substitute for a get away vacation. But by taking a home vacation I think that I could change the monotony of the regular routine and perhaps begin to develop habits that may make my life a little easier and fun at the same time. I'll try it out and blog my findings. In the spirit of simplicity, I'll end here, but my simple life experiment is only just beginning. I will start my home vacation the week after my second oldest graduates June 7, 2009. Stay tuned.